Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness

I was diagnosed with osteopenia a few years ago and simultaneously I started attending presentations and healing courses presented by Serge Benhayon. With this I understood that the deeper meaning of osteoporosis is that I have disregarded my body for a long time, and so I started looking after myself much more. I altered my diet, learnt to care more for myself, and in that my life changed considerably. There is more detail of these changes in Part 1. 

A couple of months ago, I decided to ask the GP if I could have another bone density test. This was prompted by a friend who started a support group for similar aged students of The Way of The Livingness, who have diagnoses of osteopenia and osteoporosis.

I thought it had been 2 or 3 years since my previous test; it turned out 7 whole years had flown by. That was a bit of a surprise that I had chosen to leave it so long before contacting the doctor, but I reassured myself I was looking after myself much more now. The results from my test returned and they showed that my bone density has progressed in a downhill spiral from osteopenia to moderate osteoporosis. I was absolutely devastated. All this time I thought I had been making more self-loving changes, but my spine has continued to crumble. A friend suggested to me another way of viewing this; what if in this lifetime, I am allowing myself a clearing of many lifetimes of disregard, and how healing this is, now, for the future and for many more lifetimes to come. Now I am changing how I see my illness, I’m starting to understand the bigger picture.

So my journey continues…

Over the next few weeks I started to connect to my spine, to feel how the middle of my back ached, especially when I was tired. Another friend in our group organised a specific exercise group for people with a common theme of osteoporosis to attend online ‘Osteo Strength and Awareness Program’ with an Esoteric Exercise practitioner from It’s Time to Shine.

With the support of these exercise classes, I started to feel how I could support myself deeper by connecting to my spine and exercising on a regular daily program with gentle strengthening and stretching exercises. It has taken a little time to bring a loving rhythm to myself with these exercises, exposing my resistance to helping myself. But I have been feeling recently how my scapulae can support my spine and how lightly I can rise up from a sitting position without any strain on my spine and how my leg strength is improving. I am continuing with these exercises and am deeply grateful for their support.

The exercise sessions constantly bring me back to a deeper knowing of the delicacy, strength and a true quality within my movements, as a way to live in my daily activity. Our honest and deep sharing together as a group allows our expression and care to deepen with every class and discussion we have.

I have also contacted two lovely Esoteric naturopaths and have meetings planned for my way forward regarding supplements I need to take. Again I can feel a change in myself as I let go of old beliefs that if I have a good diet, I don’t need any supplements. It was explained to me lovingly that it depends mainly on what the body absorbs, and so I am having blood and hormone tests to determine what is needed; so further my journey continues.

Then, a greater, deeper revelation was given to me recently.

I had booked an appointment with an Esoteric Practitioner, and shared with her all about this process. As the session progressed, she showed me how dismissive I can be, that when she shared something of truth, or credited me with something, I can go “yeah, whatever”, and play small. I have this pattern of making things into a joke with my response. For example, I was talking about something that happened, and she replied how powerful I was becoming. My response was “Really? Maybe, one day”.

She shared how she could feel that I was on automatic pilot, and every time I speak like that I bash myself with a club. And then it hit me – I had a sudden realisation: 

Is it possible that there could be a link between this way of my expression and my osteoporosis?  

I realised my expression is not from the truth of who I am. What if every time I played something down, I was choosing to metaphorically beat myself on the back with a hammer and chip away at my spine? This made me stop in my tracks. Expression is a movement, and how we move affects us.

I could feel the physical pain as she spoke, and realised this is exactly what I do. I beat myself up, bashing myself on the back every time I speak like this. I had learned to express this way from a very young age and it is not supporting me. I went into my head and doubted; do I know how to express from truth? Sadness welled up inside me for a moment, and then the truth came through. Of course I can express – simply express from Love. This is the progression of my journey to reverse the osteoporosis in my body. The outcome will be what it will be, but meanwhile:

My true expression is supported from my inner knowing of Love and my inner knowing of Love confirms my true expression.

With ever grateful thanks to the support of my loving friends, Esoteric Practitioners and Serge Benhayon for his deep Love and support for us all.


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376 thoughts on “Osteoporosis Part 2 – New learning from old illness”

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  • DNJune 16, 2017 at 12:38 pm 

Gill its great to be open to always going deeper and not with blame or judgement but with a knowing that we are always shown things to allow us to deepen the level of love we hold for and with ourselves.

  • Michael BrownJune 16, 2017 at 2:14 pm 

What a blessing that we have been supported to see illness and disease for what it truly is – energy.

  • Susan LeeJune 16, 2017 at 3:18 pm 

Simply beautiful Gill – and what you have shared makes such sense. Since I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis I have begun to understand my body in more detail and with greater depth and what you have shared has allowed me that I still have a long way to go and yet already appreciate how far I have come. I can relate to what you shared about ‘bashing yourself up’ and how this was not supporting you to build a foundation for your body – and even more adding to your bone deterioration. Certainly something for me to ponder on as I allow my wondrous body to unfold to me all it’s wisdom.

  • nicolesjardinJune 16, 2017 at 3:36 pm 

A great reminder to check in and ask how am i really tracking health wise?

  • Christoph SchnelleJune 16, 2017 at 11:02 pm 

I would really like to know if there is a large scale study of women who are 50+, their bone density reading, i.e. their osteoporosis status and their subsequent history of issues that are related to osteoporosis like more and more severe fractures.

    • gillrandallJune 17, 2017 at 8:34 am 

I think long term large scale studies often have difficulty with funding but that would be so informative for future generations Christoph. I had previously thought my mum had osteoporosis because of milk rationing in the war when she was a teenager, but I now know the intake of calcium in youth as was taught was the problem is a completely false. I now have a good diet and a healthy lifestyle but the osteoporosis is still continuing so there has to be a deeper reason for it. When we know it is how we are with ourselves, at least we can choose to do something about it.

  • simonwilliams8June 17, 2017 at 5:38 am 

There is a fascinating case study between what happens when you decide to learn from your illness, rather than to fight it and make sure you get back to how you were living before (which is what would have caused the illness in the first place).

    • Shirley-Ann WaltersJune 19, 2017 at 12:48 pm 

Yes Simon, just doing some psychological profiling on a mass of people matched to certain main known health conditions would in itself be interesting to see what appears. Such as, do the patients in a liver specialist unit have anger or internalised anger issues and disharmony? Do lung patients have damp grief issues? Anecdotally these things might be clear to those who work with them, but it would be interesting to document on a large scale how the group differ, or not.

  • Shirley-Ann WaltersJune 17, 2017 at 5:56 am 

There is a key practical point here that is accessible to anyone Gill – that it is not just about whether we have a good diet and a healthy lifestyle with weight bearing exercise, but whether or not we can absorb and use those nutrients, and it appears that is where the other factors like how loving we are with ourselves may come into play, and this may relate to many other health issues too like iron and anaemia or whether we get gout, and so on compared to the next person. So it brings us back to the detail of how we are with ourselves 24/7.

    • gillrandallJune 17, 2017 at 8:38 am 

This feels like we have hit the jackpot with the true deeper cause of osteoporosis Shirley-Ann, we can do all we can on the outside, but we need to work on how we are with ourselves on the inside too.

    • Leigh MatsonJune 17, 2017 at 5:26 pm 

And what is amazing about Esoteric medicine is that it brings in the details of the energy we use everyday and how it leads to the details that make up our own personal health.

  • Rik ConnorsJune 18, 2017 at 3:01 am 

Wow Gill, what an amazing daily moment to moment adventure you have before you. Full of purpose – How much focus can you expandingly bring, and maintain, to bring as much love to heal your body and being. I commend the medical system in what it provides and the amazing Esoteric Medicine Modalities that complete the healing process.

  • Jenny EllisJune 18, 2017 at 7:55 pm 

Taking responsibility for healing leads to a fascinating and endlessly enriching relationship with yourself and life, allowing the depth of wisdom we have within to unveil itself.

    • gillrandallJune 19, 2017 at 7:10 pm 

It is so true, Jenny, the only person we can heal is ourselves. When we take on this responsibility, our relationship with our own bodies simply deepens and deepens.

      • Jenny EllisJune 20, 2017 at 3:24 am 

Yes exactly Gill, letting go the idea that someone else heals us is very empowering, particularly when we realise that it’s the myriad of daily choices we make moment to moment that provide the ‘medicine’ we seek. Knowing exactly what ‘medicine’ we require can be very much supported by a practitioner, as can the connection and relationship we develop with our bodies and it’s constant communication back to us about those choices.
    • Shirley-Ann WaltersJune 19, 2017 at 12:41 pm 

This article has been really confirming and increased my attention to this level of awareness about how we are with ourselves and our Divine bodies. It is for us to bring that level of love to the physical body so that the true Divine that we are can come through, by virtue of being of the same resonance or alignment.

    • KSJune 21, 2017 at 8:41 am 

I see the power in exercising is to change the expression in one’s body and as such it has an impact on our verbal expression.

      • gillrandallJune 22, 2017 at 4:14 am 

Since this experience feeling how I can chip away at my spine by playing small, the awareness of the pattern has been exposed and highlighted. We can always feel the tension in our bodies when we hold back our expression.

    • JoshuaJune 21, 2017 at 3:37 pm 

I have loved rereading this once again and feeling how powerful and wise and multidimensional our bodies are naturally so. It shows and exemplifies the fact that to truly understand illness and disease we must look at the wider aspects at play including our past lives and our relationship with our soul, energetic responsibility and with our true purpose here on earth.
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